Four years ago I received the DruidCraft tarot deck. I had discovered the deck when looking for a deck to branch out with from my original tarot deck. My spouse got it for me and gave it to me in the midst of opening presents at my super religious in-laws’ house. That’s how much he loves me and supports my journey.
I loved this deck. I began to get familiar with it, but there was still something missing or lacking as I went through the deck and used it in day to day spreads. Two years passed and I prepared to carry my second child. As soon as his spirit joined with mine, I was no longer able to clearly read or see the cards. So I put them away for when I would be able to pull them back out and have a clarity of spirit again. But, everything I had sensed that would come with my second pregnancy came true and plus some. My second child was medically complicated and required so much giving of my spirit just to make it through to his birth that I was unable to even think about anything else besides just holding space for him and myself. His first year of life should have been enough to utterly break and destroy me. Especially as halfway through that first year, my memories of having been sexually abused as a child came back.
It was hard place to be in with such an incredibly heavy weight on my spirit and yet wanting to gain the wisdom from the spirit realm through my cards. But I knew it still wasn’t time. When I gathered with fellow sister women a month and a half ago, I was given a new tarot deck – this one an Ostara deck, the Goddess of new beginnings. It was so appropriate and honoring of the new changes I’ve been working on in my life. Not only that, it has released the heaviness that has been clinging to my spirit for the past two years. That new deck has been so healing and today, for the first time in two and a half years, I pulled out my DruidCraft deck and felt the old familiar energy radiate through my fingers as I went through the cards.
Another major shift that has been happening the past week and a half has been an intense initiation into the Morrigan. It’s been an incredible experience digging into my Irish ancestry and also renewing the deep call I’ve felt for most of my life to the Celtic Goddesses. Badb in particular has been very present in the past week and as I went through my tarot deck, I immediately found three cards that I felt were the three sister in the Morrigan.
I have known all this week that I would find Anu, Macha, and Badb in this tarot deck. I just hadn’t gotten a chance to sit down and really focus my attention on the cards. So it was no surprise when these three cards grabbed me.
Anu – [pronounced AN-new]
Anu is the mother goddess of the three sisters. She is associated with motherhood, fertility, and with close connections to the land. Thus when I saw this card of the fertile mother to be, and her arms full of the harvest, I knew it was Anu. I do not know much about Anu yet, she hasn’t come to be fully. Even though I am a mother myself, there is a huge part of me still shut down to the idea of fertility. I don’t want to be fertile, I do not want any more children. I am mother to my two children, and I have had to mother myself so much, I do not want anymore of that responsibility. But who knows, the Goddesses have a way of breaking through those walls despite what I want or don’t want.
Macha – [pronounced MACH-uh)
Macha has been close to me for a while. She is a goddess of the Sun, fire, success, motherhood, war, death, also fertility. There is an unique connection between death and motherhood in the Celtic Gods and Goddesses. And it is one that I deeply connect with and have tapped in to. I feel Macha’s power lifting me up and protecting me. She is a just goddess and will push you to be the better version of yourself. She is a fierce mama bear, and she will not hesitate to destroy anyone who harms one of hers.
Badb – [pronounced BAH-v)
Aww, Badb, she has been closest to me over the past week. She often first presents as a crone and someone hellbent on ripping you to shreds. But if you can let her in and honor and respect the work she is asking you, or forcing you, to do, then she will become a beautiful stunning being who holds you tight and comforts you with great love and care. Badb is a goddess of death, but as death often symbolizes new beginnings, she is also a goddess of stripping away the old, the scar tissue, the things that need to be released, so that you can start again. She is becoming close to me and I am learning to love her deeply and trust the work she is doing in my spirit and mind.
I drew a few more cards that I will write about next time. But I am so grateful to the Morrigan for allowing me into their presence and giving me their wisdom and care and protection.