The Celtic Ogham – 3rd & 4th Aicme

For the first two aicme sets, check out my previous post! 

A complication about learning the Ogham has again surfaced. Due to there not being a lot of information about Druidic practices, there is even less information about their alphabet; The Ogham. No one (currently alive) know who or how the first Ogham were created. There are, like many other aspects of Druidic practices, myths and stories, but nothing known for sure.

It is said that the Celtic God Ogma was the one who created the symbols. But even that is not a straight forward story. Something I was able to find just today through my research was that the 5th Aicme is actually not considered an actual part of the Ogham. It was a much later addition and I’ve noticed that the few Ogham sets I’ve been able to find do not have that 5th Aicme. I’m in the process of getting the 5th Aicme made by the person I bought my original set from.

That said, here’s the 3rd and 4th Aicme.

The Ogham

3rd Aicme

Vine – Muin – M

This stands for Vine or Muin and the letter M.

Divination Meaning – Harvest. Successful completion of a project. Celebrations.

Reverse Meaning – Indulging in excess. Intoxication.

Magickal Meaning – Prosperity magick. Bringing goal to fruition.

Ivy – Gert – G

This stands for the plant Ivy or Gert and the letter G.

Divination Meaning – Breaking down barriers, perseverance and persistence.

Reverse Meaning – Feeling constricted, restrictions, ruthlessness.

Magickal Meaning – Luck, overcoming obstacles.

Broom – Ngetal – NG

This stands for the tree Broom or Ngetal and the letters NG

Divination Meaning – Healing. Sweeping away negative energies.

Reverse Meaning – Illness or disease. The need for healing.

Magickal Meaning – Emotional balance. Cleansing rituals. Banishing negativity.

Blackthorn – Straif – ST, SS, Z

This stands for the tree Blackthorn or Straif and the letters ST, SS, and Z.

Divination Meaning – Division, conflict. The need to establish healthy boundaries between yourself and others.

Reverse Meaning – Allowing yourself to be open for an attack; emotionally or physically.

Magickal Meaning – Establishing boundaries.

Elder – Ruis – R

This stands for the tree Elder or Ruis and the letter R.

Divination Meaning – knowledge from experience. Moving forward, sheding old habit. Transformation, the end of one cycle, beginning of a new one.

Reverse Meaning – Regrets. Holding on to the past.

Magickal Meaning – Faery magick. Transformation.


4th Aicme

Pine – Ailm – A

This stands for the tree Pine or Ailm and the letter A.

Divination Meaning – Initiations. Birth and death, beginning of a new phase in life. Foresight and farsightedness. Clear view of a situation.

Reverse Meaning – Not seeing situation clearly, blindness, inability to see truth.

Magickal Meaning – purification magick. Clear sight. Divination.

Gorse – Ohn – O

This stands for the tree Gorgse or Ohn and the letter O.

Divination Meaning – Sexuality, passion, love, relationships.

Reverse Meaning – Lack of passion in relationships, career, or projects.

Magickal Meaning – Love magick. Invoking Sun Gods/Goddesses. Gathering information, uncovering the truth.

Heather – Ur – U, W

This stands for the plant Heather or Ur and the letters U and W.

Divination Meaning – Healing. Creating sacred balance. Love and fertility.

Reverse Meaning – Being out of balance. Imbalance; physical or emotional or spiritual.

Magickal Meaning – Healing and love spells, fertility.

Aspen – Eadha – E

This stands for the tree Aspen or Eadha and the letter E.

Divination Meaning – Overcoming doubt and fear. Overcoming obstacles. Inner guidance.

Reverse Meaning – Being paralyzed by doubts and fears.

Magickal Meaning – Banishing negative emotions. Honoring the dead.

Yew – Ioho – I, J, Y

This stands for the tree Yew or Ioho and the letters I, J, and Y.

Divination Meaning – Death and rebirth. A time of transitions and change.

Reverse Meaning – Grief. Inability to accept change.

Magickal Meaning – Transformation magick. Honoring ancestors. Summoning spirits.


I have yet to firmly plant the 3rd and 4th Aicmes into my brain, but I am starting to realize just how much tree magick influences my thoughts and my life. I am noticing the kinds of trees as I’m driving around and remembering what the trees stand for and their magickal properties. Honestly, learning the Ogham has impacted me more than any tarot deck I’ve picked up and I kind of love it.

Introducing – Shadow Rose Herbs & Co.

Shadow Rose Herbs & Co.

Websitehttps://shadowroseherbsco.com/

Shophttps://shadowroseherbsco.patternbyetsy.com/

So for the past few weeks, I have been working on and building up a new “business” venture. I say “business” because while yes, I will be selling herbal remedies, it is also something I am creating to hold space for those of us with deeply rooted trauma and to facilitate that healing.

Shadow Rose Herbs & Co was born a few weeks ago when I wrote down a list of 8 different business names. I then showed that list of names to a handful of people and asked them to pick the one that stood out the most and/or fit me the most. Every single person picked Shadow Rose. It, ironically, was the very last name on the list. It was the name I had written down after about 10 minutes of just staring at the list waiting for the last name to come.

My relationship with the rose has been tumultuous. I used to love the look of roses when I was a child, and the very first flower my partner ever gave me was a singular white rose. When we finally got to go on our first official date, he brought me a dozen white roses. But, the moment he walked in the door, my mother grabbed the roses and said “oh are these for me??” I was made fun of for liking roses – “you just like them because everyone likes roses.” I decided I kind of really hated roses.

But, the rose has continued to show up for me. Dried rosebuds was the first dried herb I ever purchased. It was the first thing I knew I needed to add to start creating my dried herb pantry. Then two months ago, I attended the Red Tent and the entire ceremony was about roses. That’s when I finally started giving in to the incredible depth of beauty AND darkness roses hold.

Whenever I started into creating a new space – whether that be a new blog, business idea… – the name is always first for me. The name is the foundation on which I start building. A month ago, 4 different people asked me multiple times why I wasn’t making and selling the herbal remedies I was using on myself and for my family. This came after several other people had asked me the same thing last year. With my health finally being a place where it’s not at the forefront of my mind, and my job has cooled down as well, I felt like it was time to start really pushing forward with opening an herbal shop.

So why the name I chose?

I was struck by how much darkness and shadows roses hold. Sure, you have the beautiful bloom and almost everyone just sees that, but have you seen the thorns? Have you see how intensely protective the rose bush can get? The thorns make it impenetrable, impossible to enter to the center of the plant. It is said there is lore of the rose being a symbol of carrying secrets. The rose holds a lot of history in legends and lore from many cultures.

The Shadow part of the name has to do with the darkness of the thorns but also symbolizes the darkness and shadows I carry being the survivor of childhood sexual abuse and childhood trauma. That is a massive part of me and one of the things I hope to do with Shadow Rose is create a safe space and products for supporting healing that kind of trauma.

Rose is to present the beauty and light that the blossoms bring to anyone who sees the rose. The vibrancy of different shades and sizes of roses. The rose is a multi purpose herb – the petals and buds are incredible to work with, but when the rose blooms die and form rosehips, this is another part of the plant equally beneficiary.

Roses aren’t just about beauty. Roses represent love, faithfulness, warnings, darkness, shadows, perseverance; roses are good for soothing and support heart grief, and bring peace with their scent.

I am still working with a sister on creating the logo for Shadow Rose Herbs & Co, but I do have an Etsy Pattern shop up and running, and a few products already ready for purchase!

Revisiting The Wheel of The Year – Mabon, Samhain, Yule, Imbolc

In this post, I’ll cover the second 4 Sabbats of the Wheel of the Year – Mabon, Samhain, Yule, and Imbolc. Feel free to go back to my previous post! Quick note first though; Beltane came up really quickly for me, and I wasn’t able to pull anything together for the actual day. The following weekend however I did a Beltane ritual with an incredible group of women. We did a ritual fire jump, and included a shedding and reclamation ritual as well. It was so beautiful and amazing to be celebrating such a fiery and powerful Sabbat with such fiery and powerful sisters. I have come to the conclusion that Beltane is best celebrated when you’re in a group instead of by yourself. Because of the incredible shifting that happens on Beltane – the move from sleeping and slowly waking up to Spring to turning it up to full blast and wildly celebrating fertility and new life and igniting the fires of passion that will carrying us into Summer – you need that joined community passion and excitement to bring life to the rituals.

Mabon – Fall Equinox, September 20-23

Mabon is my substitute for Thanksgiving. We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving anymore, and damn it feels good to say that. Mabon, however, is a wonderful celebration of that last shift from Summer to Autumn heading towards Winter. It’s that time of year when the last harvests are starting to come in, the planning for the winter months has started, and it’s really a time to celebrate all that you have been given. As the days and nights are equal in length and hold a balance, look to restore that kind of balance in your life.

Some of the ways we have celebrated Mabon is creating a huge feast and inviting friends over to celebrate with us! This past September, I made a butternut squash soup, round roast, and a homemade pumpkin pie. It turned into a great evening celebrating and enjoying the company of friends. I can’t wait to plan this year’s Mabon celebration.

Here are some ideas for what you can do to celebrate Mabon!

  • Go apple picking
  • make a Mabon altar
  • cleanse your home for the fall
  • have a thanksgiving-ish feast with friends/family
  • take a few moments to yourself, or with your children, and write down the things you are grateful for

Samhain – sunset on October 31st to sunset of November 1st

Samhain – pronounced sow-en – the official beginning of winter season, the “darker half” of the year. Samhain is often associated as being a festival of the dead, and is considered one of the times of the year when veil or doorway to the Otherworld is opened and supernatural beings and the souls of the dead may come through and visit our world.

Samhain is actually the opposite Sabbat to Beltane. Beltane is the other “veil is open” Sabbat, but for some reason isn’t as associated with a festival of the dead as Samhain is.

In honor of the doorway being opened, Samhain is a really good time to honor your ancestors and spend some time looking over the past year and setting goals for the winter. Samhain is also the time to be aware of what you need to shed and what need’s be let go of that is no longer serving you. Allow the changing of the seasons to guide you.

Something that’s helpful to consider as we move into the darkness of Winter, especially when SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is a factor, is how are you going to fill your home/space with light and warmth as darkness and death happens outside? Winter is a season for hibernating and allowing for rest and rebuilding strength for the return of the light at Imbolc.

Yule – Winter Solstice – December 20-25

The longest day of the year has arrived and with it means we are that much closer to the light and warmth returning! Yule, being in the middle of winter, is a time for gathering with friends in the warmth of your home, and celebrating being together. Ironically, the majority of Christmas traditions have their roots in Yule. Including, but not limited to, decorating trees, exchanging gifts, singing songs, drinking mulled wine, and reaffirming hope of Spring returning.

With having children, I am hoping to be able to plan ahead this year a bit more, and include them in some Yule celebrations. Here’s a good article about some things you can do with children.

This past Yule felt really transformative for me. Instead of feeling pressure from extended family to be there and attend their Christian church Christmas celebrations, we were able to do our own things and be at home and be together. My oldest and I picked out the decorations for our real pine tree and he helped me decorate it. It was so special to be able to do that simple ritual together and have him feel like he was included. He also picked out the other decorations I had around the house and for the first year, it actually felt really celebratory and like we had something to celebrate. My oldest even told me that we didn’t have enough decorations. It really helps having a child who is so eager to celebrate something!

Imbolc – Candlemas – February 2nd

Imbolc – pronounced im-bulk – is the Celtic Goddess Brigid’s Sabbat. Imbolc is the rekindling the Spring fires, the return of the light, and the beginning of life returning. It’s the time for seeds to be started, for the acknowledgment that we are reawakening after a long winter! Brigid is a Goddess of Fire and Light, a Sun Goddess, and is one who holds powerful healing and birthing of life in her hands.

It’s a traditional practice to create a Brigid cross on Imbolc!

I spent Imbolc this year planning out my container garden and trying to figure out which herbs and plants I wanted to plant.


Practicing and celebration the 8 Wheel of the Year Sabbats is a habit to work up to. It’s definitely not going to be an overnight switch. It’s taken me 4 years to celebrate the different Sabbats, and I’m still not where I want to be in terms of what I do for each one. So be patient with yourself if you’re just starting out. It takes time to build up this practice, and what is also helpful, is to find a coven or group of friends to celebrate with.

I spend a lot of time researching and collecting rituals and ways to celebrate each Sabbat on my pinterest board.

Feel free to look around, and maybe even start collecting ideas for your own celebrations!

Herbal Infused Oils & Rose Water Toner – update

A few months ago I mixed up two herbal infused oils to start the 6 week wait for the herbs to infuse. Since then I have added two more herbal infused oils to my collection. 

One of the things that is recommended for herbal body oiling is to use the oils daily. This is so the herbs can get into your system and build up to help your body’s immune system, or nervous system, or whatever the goal of the herbs are that you used in your oils. Truthfully, I have not been oiling daily, but I do take baths with the oils several times a week now. My favorite way to use the oils I’ve made are to pour about two tablespoons into the bath water with pure epsom salts and then soak for about 20+ minutes. This never leaves my bathtub oily and there is enough oil in the water to cover my body and the epsom salts help with easing the aches my body deals with daily. 

Okay, so the first oil I infused contained Jasmine, Lavender, and Damiana. The oils I used were half Sweet Almond Oil and half Olive Oil. This oil does smell more strongly of olive oil, but the combination of the aphrodisiac of the damiana and jasmine and the calming of lavender makes for a very relaxing bath. I’ve used this oil for a massage oil as well. I honestly wasn’t so sure I would be able to tell a difference in how my body felt when using the oils. I am pleasantly surprised that I can tell when I’ve used the oils and my body feels calmer and less stressed or inflamed. 

The second oil I infused had Calendula, Lavender, Dandelion root, and Motherwort. I used unrefined coconut oil, and while this may have been a mistake, the oil did turn out good. The only thing I probably should have done different was use fractionated coconut oil so it would be in a constant liquid state. I have used this oil primarily when my kiddos take baths! It seems to help calm them down before bed and also moisturizes my youngest’s skin and his eczema. 

I also tried to infuse some distilled water and witch hazel with dried rose petals, jasmine, and lavender. It was supposed to infuse for 2 weeks, and when I opened the jar after 2 weeks, I found mold on the herbs at the top of the jar. So instead of the long infusing method, I decided to use a different method and have successfully made rose water toner that lasts exactly 2 months with me using it every day. 

The recipe I use is to place about 3/4 cup of dried flowers/herbs into a small pot, then pour about 1 1/2 cups of distilled water into it. I’ll bring the water to a boil, then let it keep boiling until specifically the rose petals have lost their color. This usually seems to take about 5ish minutes. Once I feel like the petals have lost all their color, I’ll turn off the heat, move the pot, and let the entire thing cool completely. Cooling completely seems to take about an hour or so. Then I use a fine cloth (usually the $0.79 white and red towels from Ikea) over a fine mesh strainer and pour the liquid and herbs/petals into the cloth and strainer. I’ll use a wooden spoon to gently press all the liquid from the herbs/petals. Then pour the strained liquid into an amber or blue glass spray bottle! I almost always use masking tape and write a label with the date to stick on the bottle, then put and keep the bottle in the fridge. 

I used dried rose petals, calendula, and chamomile flowers for the toner pictured above! As I’m still struggling with persistent hormonal acne, I wanted to add the powerhouse flowers of calendula and chamomile as they are really good for calming the skin and soothing inflammation. Besides, chamomile flowers smell amazingly like honey! 

As I’m still working to heal my body from the inside out, I wanted to create another oil with the specific purpose of balancing hormones. I used a grapeseed oil as the base oil this time, and the herbs I used were Damiana, Passion Flower, Calendula, and Rosebuds. Damiana and Passion Flower are good balancing herbs, Passion Flower specifically is good for calming anxiety and the nervous system. Calendula is also another herb good for anti-inflammatory purposes. When I use this oil in my bath, I feel rejuvenated and calmed when I get out. This oil in addition to some new herbs I’m taking as supplements, my body is feeling more balanced than I can ever remember. 

Last but not least, I made a fourth oil specifically to use on my spouse’s and my face. I have long been using Sea Buckthorn Seed Oil for acne control. Sea Buckthorn is a powerful antioxidant and contains a lot of beta carotene which causes the almost disturbing orange-ish color. I promise, in tiny amounts, this oil doesn’t not stain your skin! As I know chamomile and calendula have some amazing facial benefits, I used those two herbs and infused the oil for about 3 weeks in Sea Buckthorn Seed oil and Grapeseed oil. Once this oil was done, I mixed it with some essential oils – tea tree, frankincense, lavender, and eucalyptus. My spouse and I use this oil on our faces every evening once we’ve washed our faces and used witch hazel as a toner. 

Something I have not been able to do yet and which I plan to do, is to return the herbs and dried flowers used in the making of these oils to Mother Gaia. It’s been too cold outside, but also due to my own health and the chaos of having started a new job, I have not had the motivation to do so. But it is important to me to to honor Mother with the giving of her bounty so I can make these oils. It’s all about honoring those cycles of life and death! 

Herbal Oils, Facial Toners, Herbal Bath Salts

About three weeks ago, I started learning about herbal oils and the health benefits that come from oiling. There are many benefits that come with practicing herbal body oiling, but also, herbal infused oils can be used to make healing salves and even lotions.

So I decided to go on a “foraging” mission and found a store here in Denver that has the most fantastic selection of dried herbs and flowers! Walking out $20 lighter, my hands were full of bags of dried herbs and flowers.  Having this be my first time making any oils, I did a little bit a research, then followed my gut. I made two different oils, and they are still sitting and infusing. Both oils have about 4 more weeks before I can open them up and strain the herbs and flowers out of them.

The first one I made, I am calling Aphrodite’s Oil. The reason for this is because two of the herbs/flowers I have in that oil have aphrodisiac effects. Not only that, but all three herbs/flowers I put in are good for anxiety and stress relief.

Rituals & Researching

I discovered Pinterest 5 years ago, roughly 4 1/2 years ago I really seriously started pinning. I have long been known to scour Google for information when my interest has been peaked. In short, I live and breathe researching. That’s how I come to understand what it is that is holding my interest or what I would like to dig deeper into. When it comes to my pagan path, I have of course dug right in to researching the different aspects I want to know more about.

When I gathered with 17 other mermaid goddesses two and a half weeks ago, I felt like I had finally, finally found my community. Not only that, I finally had my people who I could see in person, who fully understand and welcomed me alongside of their pagan journey as well. It was breathtakingly beautiful and fulfilling. But one of the things I’ve come to realized is that I have been on this pagan path for a lot longer than I realized. I was cleaning up and reorganizing my 12,000 some pins on Pinterest and discovered pins that I had saved several years ago that were exactly what I had been looking for a week ago. There is something quite validating about realizing I’ve been reaching for this path for so long and to watch it start blossoming and flowing before my eyes.

I struggled with finding time and balance and a connection to the Wheel of the Year days I tried to celebrate three years ago. It didn’t flow, it didn’t feel natural. I had wanted to be purposeful with honoring the full moons and new moons, but again, it just didn’t flow nor did I feel connected. There was a part of me that was so shut down I needed that part badly before I could truly connect to the path I longed for.

After the weekend gathering, I felt multiples fire ignite strongly within me. I finally felt a completion of what I had been yearning for for several years. I felt the rightness, the deep connection, the flow as I turned to and started leaning into learning about rituals for moon cycles, full/new moons, and digging my fingers into learning about herbs and flowers. Not only do I feel these flames building inside of me, I have never felt so confident that this is what I’m supposed to be doing right now. You know, that sense of of Fate? That absolutely messy beautiful perfectness.

I sat down and performed a full moon ritual a week and a half ago and it felt comfortable and invigorating and exactly what I was supposed to do. It flowed, I was in my element, I felt a connection to the ritual, the full moon, and the energies around me. I will write about my ritual another time though. But one of the things I also did over last month’s full moon (August, Full Moon in Pisces) was make moon water. The energy from the full moon felt so strong to me that I wanted to capture the energy in water. I have been drinking some of the water when I needed a boost of energy, and I used some of the water to make moon water cleansing spray.

I mixed some moon water in to a blue glass spray bottle with a little bit of frankincense essential oil and some Himalayan pink salt. My plan is as we enter the new moon phase of September, is to cleanse my front door and windows and then take sweetgrass and smudge the space, calling protection and my ancestors and the Goddesses.

I am starting to plan out the seeds I want to plant for a container garden I hope to start in the spring here. This is another ritual I am looking forward to adding to my life. It is amazing to me about how natural all of this feels to me. I really am sure I have been down this path before in another lifetime. I am not struggling to figure out how to fit my pagan path into my everyday life. It is balancing and harmonizing with everything I do day to day. That is a huge sign that I am truly on the right path.

The Marks I Carry

When I was little I hated anyone seeing my back. I was embarrassed and felt like it was a “bad” thing to have such an obvious grouping of moles on my back. I have the majority of the Big Dipper constellation on my back. I am only missing the very last star at the tip of the handle. I have matching moles on the top of each hand, like almost creepy matchy-matchy. I also have a crescent moon shape in moles across my lower rib cage too.

Deepening my connection with Spirit and Mother Earth has brought me a new awareness. I feel like I am looking back over this life I am currently living and seeing multiple things, yet again, with new eyes. I am seeing the points in my life where I’ve sensed that I’ve been there before. Or the familiarity I feel now as I start learning and working with herbs, plants, and flowers. I already knew that I have worked with Goddesses in past lives. I know that I was once a part of Aphrodite’s Temple. I know I have been an herbalist in past lives. I know that this pagan life I am moving in to now is not the first time I’ve lived such a life.

Research is my forte. I adore researching, that’s how I learn, and that’s how I gather knowledge. I came across and article talking about “witches’ marks.” These are specifically things that show up across your lifetimes AND are passed down through generations of witches.

I was twisting around in front of my full length mirror two evenings ago trying to get a full look at the constellation of moles I have on my back. There is a lot of history attached to that formation for me. I feel like I’ve had this marking before. It is something that has held a lot of fear and concern. It is something that I was “marked” with in a past life as a “witch” and threatened and possibly even killed. The markings on my hands only recently showed up in the past 5 years. Those markings hold even more past history in them. I look at my hands and I can sense the history my hands have held, I can see the markings and know that they signify I am on the right path and I have been abused on this past before.

I think our bodies tell stories if we are willing to listen. They will not only tell us stories about our current lifetime, but of past lives, of past experiences, of situations we escaped from and lived. I think when we are ready, we can enter into a space and learn of our pasts, of the things that we need to carry in to this present life and then carry those things forward.

I am proud of the marks my body carries. I know they are significant to me. I know that these are marks for me and me alone. And that’s okay. I am proud to call myself Witch and to know a deep sense of peace that I am truly stepping into my calling.

What Paganism Means to Me

Paganism – the thing I once feared and cringed at

I left Christianity about 5 years ago. When I finally said no, I am not a Christian, it was like my spirit finally got to take its first breath. It was such a relief to leave and close the door on the legalism, the judgmental, and deeply toxic religion. As I walked away, I knew I was supposed to be a part of something spiritual, but I knew it would never be an organized religion ever again. I was given my first tarot deck shortly after leaving the christian religion. That tarot deck was an incredible introduction into the spirit world surrounding us as well as an introduction into me strengthening my bond with my intuition. That first tarot deck gave me the tools to lean into the things I had always known and sensed, but had never had direction with. My spouse gave me a tarot set for Christmas three years ago, and that has always been a special deck to me. But somehow, tarot just wasn’t enough. I needed something more, I needed to be stretched and guided, and tarot was merely scratching the surfaces of the things I was being pulled towards.

We moved from the east coast to the midwest, and it was like my soul came alive. Being in the wide open, the mountains always protecting, it was the first place I had ever lived that finally and truly felt like home. When we first arrived, I started looking up Wiccan groups, but the more I researched and asked questions of various groups that caught my eye, I knew it wasn’t time, nor was I entirely sure that following a Wiccan path was what I was meant to do. The very idea that Wiccan is organized was and still is very unappealing to me. Then hell struck, and then struck again and again, and it’s only been in the past few months that I have able to catch my breath and feel like I can stand on solid ground. As I have found my footing, I have found my path, I have found my community, I have found my faith again.

I am 100% pagan, 100% against organized religion, and a budding Green, or Cottage, Witch. Being pagan [to me] means living with intentional awareness of the environment I’m in. Whether that means being in my car driving around, listening to my children chatter in the back seat, or being at home in my kitchen cooking or my bed reading and researching, that means I’m aware of the Goddesses who are with me, the spirits that surround me, and whether I am grounded or not. Being pagan means honoring the earth and her bounty, honoring the spirits who give me wisdom and knowledge, and worshiping together with my fellow sisters. Being pagan means accepting all of the consequences of my own actions, and recognizing that what I believe is never going to be exactly what someone else believes, and HOLDING SPACE for others’ beliefs. And yes I am aware of my hypocrisy of not being all that willing to hold space for christian beliefs. For now, I’m going to sit with that and be okay with it, because christianity fucked me over so badly, I don’t need to give anyone my angry spirit about that belief system.

Being pagan means expanding my mental capacity and spirit in reaching out the Goddesses that call my name. It’s means getting my hands dirty and understanding oils, salves, essences, herbs and flowers. It means performing rituals to honoring the passing of the Full Moons and New Moons and the Wheel of the Year. Being pagan means doing things that mean stopping and taking a breath and giving back to Mother Gaia/Earth.

It is a slightly torn place to be as I am a mother and have responsibilities from waking to falling asleep every day. A friend had a really good way of putting things; I am not trying to find balance between my pagan practice and my day-to-day life – I am working on harmonizing my paganism and the rest of my life. My pagan practice is not a separate thing, it is who I am, so why not blend the two, figure out how to still be intentional as I’m rushing around with my kids during the day.

I have found that the things that been bubbling under the surface for the past 5 years have been significantly ignited now. And not only does this all feel slow and steady, I am not burning out. I have learned to take this path one step at a time, and work my way towards the goals I want. I am finding myself more patient with myself, and more patient with the things I can do or simply do not have the time or means to do. I am learning that the Goddess will supply, and if it’s time for something, then it is time and I will find my path forward clear.